Michigan Golfer ON-LINE

From The Editor
by Terry Moore

Japanese literature has a revered art form known as the haiku. A haiku is a three line poem consisting of only seventeen syllables with the first and third lines always possessing five syllables while the middle has seven. Ideally, a haiku compresses the essence of a subject with wondrous economy and poetry. I've always enjoyed reading them. Recently, via e-mail I received a humorous take-off on this poetic form. It was entitled "Spam Haikus" and they were a hoot. Here's a couple:

In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door

Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily," he says.
Angioplasty.

Well, it got me to thinking that maybe haikus would be an ideal way to look at the pending fields of the two Tour stops here in Michigan in August. I mean, don't you get a little tired of all the wasted verbiage about your favorite PGA and Senior players at the Buick Open and the First of America Classic? Nibbling on some Spam, I sat down next to my serene rock garden and composed some haikus. And to keep you guessing (or reading), the subjects of these cryptic lines aren't revealed until the end.

Buick Open

a)
Fiji's best player
which is saying not too much
Postmarked: Dublin, OH

c)
Red Run Assistant
Triumphant at Hartford stop
Jacobsen's straight man.

e) Won Masters, first try
Whistling, laid-back, crowd fav.
Tiger jokes costly

g)
A Furman U. grad
with the purest stroke on Tour
Harvest time: Grand Blanc?

i)
Loopy swing for sure
"But it repeats," Leadbetter.
Cross-handed at birth.

k)
A tough young Tour turk
Little Hogan cap, pulled down
eyes Buick repeat.

m)
Long-putter lover
Hits his drives a country mile
BellSouth winner now.

o)
Sweet-swinging Bulldog
Nary a Tour title yet
For whom the bell tolles

First of America Classic

b)
Blythefield pro makes good
Keeping card will be a test
Break-out at G.R.?

d)
Cigar-chomping vet,
played in all Senior events.
Won at Ameritech

f)
Sand man magician
Oft adorned in black and white
All majors times two.

h)
Augusta caddie
Big hitter, muscle and brawn
Par fives? On in two.

j)
Richest Tour rookie
10-under at The Open
An optometrist

l)
Ryder Cup captain
Never takes a practice putt
at Egypt Valley.

n)
Matador on greens
does the cha-cha for birdies
In Callaway's fold

p)
Putter toe to sky
Nightmare ghost to Jack Renner
Stands tall in Japan

Okay, so they're pretty easy, I admit. But this is only your first lesson. Now if you'd like to take out your calligrapher's brush and try your luck, please do. Via e-mail or snail mail send me your very best. I'll try to include them in the next issue. Until then:

Covers game so well
People, courses, events, too
Michigan Golfer

Oh Argentina
Your little tin of meat soars
Above the pampas.

Haiku answers: a) Vijay Singh; b) Buddy Whitten; c) D.A. Weibring; d) Walt Morgan; e) Fuzzy Zoeller; f) Gary Player; g) Brad Faxon; h) Jim Dent; i) Jim Furyk; j) Gil Morgan; k) Justin Leonard; l) Dave Stockton; m) Scott McCarron; n) Chi Chi; o) Tommy Tolles; p) Isao Aoki.


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